FACTS
Suicide in the LGBTQ+ community
Almost half of Dutch lesbian, gay and bisexual adults (LHB) have ever had suicidal thoughts. This is more than five times higher than in the general population.
Eight per cent of LHB adults have ever attempted suicide. This is four to five times higher than the number of attempts in the general population.
Trans people have an even harder time. They are seven to ten times more likely to attempt suicide compared to non-trans persons.
Source: 113 suicide prevention
Synopsis
The LGBTQ+ community has been struggling with extremely high suicide rates for years. According to figures from 113 Suicide Prevention, almost half of Dutch lesbian, gay and bisexual adults have ever had suicidal thoughts. This is five times more common than in the general adult population. The number who actually attempt suicide is four to five times higher. For transgender people, the figures are even more shocking: five to 10 times higher.
Yet within the rainbow community, the subject of suicide seems to be a taboo subject.
Documentary filmmaker Tim Dekkers and screenwriter Henk Burger want to break this taboo with the gripping documentary Uit 't leven. For over two years, they followed three LGBTQ+ people who went through an inky black period.
Have acrobat Jean, model Solange and city councilor Kris got their lives back on track for good? How do they aim to be a support and an example for others in mental distress. Or does a possible relapse always lurk with them too?
KRIS
Tender KRIS (43) grew up in Harkema, in the far north of the Netherlands. The rigid, taciturn climate, bound by strict rules, was downright stifling and his self-esteem correspondingly nil. A fragile, silent eccentric, he was harassed at school on a regular basis and scolded for sissy, girl, faggot and gay. Kris wrote at the age of 15, stripped of all lust for life: 'If only I were dead'. He goes back to that school and to the gymnasium, where the weekly torture took place . He tells how, in sheer desperation, he locked himself in a toilet cubicle for hours one morning.
JEAN
Muscular acrobat JEAN (41), Brazilian Dutchman. He was very close to having 2019 written on his tombstone as the final year. It was not he himself who initially had a final death wish, but his very best bosom friend and ex-lover Ebsen. This Dane, also an acrobat, saw no life for himself at 50, with a body that would deteriorate irrevocably. Under absolute secrecy, he informed his friend Jean of his unwavering plan to stop living. Jean was confromted with Esben's death wish and knew he would not be able to change his mind. The announced death was meticulously planned in the diary. Jean had to prepare for an end date, which crept closer every day. It earned himself burnout and even a death wish of his own.
SOLANGE
Tall SOLANGE (31) stood atop the same high bridge of a Brabant river twice, only to abruptly end her unbearably heavy life. She survived the leap into the water both times. As a trans woman, she belongs to the group that makes the most suicide attempts within the LGBTQI community. She too did not escape the agonising feelings of hopelessness and bitterness, with a family full of misunderstanding and plenty of disapproval about her identity. She experienced the horrific exclusion and additional doses of discrimination she faced daily as a form of condemnation. Misunderstood, unloved, hated and reviled, she went through a hopeless valley for years.
HENK
The initiative for this documentary came from HENK (60), screenwriter, who himself endured bouts of depression twice.
At 3.07 pm on 7 September 2017, Henk unsuspectingly witnessed a live suicide attempt on Facebook. A friend suddenly announced in a self-posted message that he would "no longer be on this planet" if his friends read it. He was fed up with life, he wrote. A feeling of 'not mattering, not being seen'. In a separate group of friends on Messenger that followed, everyone called to him 'not do it' . Friends had immediately gone to his house, where police forced his door. While they had to wait outside, he was being resuscitated inside. The minutes ticked away agonisingly slowly. For forty minutes, the anguished silence lasted online. Until the message from one of the friends was posted: ...He is dead.